Ok, this post isn’t about The Hunger Games. But since the movie was release two weeks ago our blog has experienced a significant dip in visits (like a 88% drop. For reals.). So, every little bit, right?
(Although, have you read about this? This is cray cray!)
First up, my current issue with my dear faculty of social work. You may know that practicum placements are 50% of my Master’s degree (which I will be graduating from ONE YEAR FROM TODAY!). I really like this part of my degree for a few reasons. First, I cannot begin to tell you how tedious some (only some) of the course work is becoming. I shudder to think about the two courses I am about to start in two weeks.
Last November the practicum office at the faculty started looking for a placement for me. I’m generally an ‘on the ball’ kind of woman, so when I didn’t hear anything from the two agencies that had my resume I called them up. Guess what? The agencies never had them, the practicum office screwed up. That left me to fix it. And fix it, I did.
Present day. Practicum planning for September is about to get started. Our practicum office just had the coordinator “resign immediately” (read: she was fired ’cause she didn’t know what she was doing). I know where I want to be for my next practicum, so I went ahead and made the connection. And today I had a teensy interview and they said they would take me as a student placement (yay me!). After that I took 20 painstaking minutes to compile a very diplomatic email letting them know that they didn’t have to (not do the) work to get me a placement in another city. Did I get a thank you-for-your-initiative-J? No. I got a reprimand. Well, I can’t send you an email with what I want to say. So I’ll just leave it here:
Second, A and I carpool every morning. Now, this includes A turning on the radio (literally at the same intersection every morning). We listen to the local station that plays the Top 40s. A and I have a list of the 5 acts that the Top 40 radio station will play until you die of boredom. They are as follows:
1. Adele (the young and the old love her)
2. Bruno Mars (I wish I could throw a grenade at him)
3. Taylor Swift (her woman bashing in the name of love is as legendary as her saccharine personality)
4. Train (dumb band name with generic songs that appear in romantic comedies)
5. Katy Perry (seriously, it is not uncommon to turn to another station to avoid Katy Perry, only to hear MORE KATY PERRY)
Aside from catching a tune from one of these five acts, we like to listen the morning show banter. It is cringe worthy. One of the things we usually catch is something called “Mind Grind”. It is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, and makes me feel good to make fun of them in the morning. But not for the reason you think. “Mind Grind” is a 45 second trivia game where a caller answers 10 questions (topics range from popular TV shows to golf trivia). After they answer one of the morning hosts who has been “in the sound proof hallway” comes in and tries to beat them by answering the same set of questions.
Sidenote: A and I are sure that “sound proof hallway” is code for “sitting very quietly and listening to your answers”.
In all the months that we’ve listened to this ridiculousness no one (I mean NO ONE) has ever lost. I think that we figured out pretty early on that no one loses this game. The host obviously know how many they need to “answer incorrectly” so that the caller wins their lame-o prize (cue the tickets to the Michael Jackson tribute concert). The stalling that they have done is so apparent it has me cringing and A is usually laughing her ass off. The end of the game always has the caller “beating” the morning show host. And like clockwork has us being all facetious and rude in the Envoy saying to each other, “OH WOOOW! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?! I’m sooo surprised!”.
I will now propose to A that we try to get on “Mind Grind” and purposely not answer one question right. And see how those idiots deal with that one.
Anyway, it’s kind of a tradition to shit talk that stupid game. And the highlight of my commute at 8am.
However there are days when the silly game is ruined by other things. Like what one of the DJs said this morning that had me spewing hate:
DJ: You sound cute!
DJ: That’s ok that I say that right? I was at the grocery store and I told a woman that I saw that she was “pretty”. And you know what she did? She swore at me. (insert hurt voice).
Ok. So. Where do I start.
That should be all I need to say, but unfortunately I can’t leave it at that.
Where do people (and let’s be real, I’m talking about men) get off commenting on other people’s (and let’s be real again, I’m talking about women) bodies? If he had said “You’re ugly” or “Boy, you have hairy ankles” he wouldn’t be surprised that he got cussed out. But because he was giving what he thought was a compliment we should all of a sudden be grateful and happy? Why? Because you deemed someone cute enough to get to hear a compliment from the likes of you? When you do shit like this what you’re doing is basically saying that you get to decide what is good and what is bad. That your opinion is important enough that you have to interrupt someone and remind them that you are appraising them without their knowledge, making judgements without their knowledge and sharing you fucking opinion even though it wasn’t asked for, needed or even fucking helpful to anyone except yourself.
I don’t care if people say I’m being ridiculous or sensitive. That’s fine, believe what you want. I’m not so naive to think that people don’t look at one another and make judgements about people’s appearance. That happens, we’re socialized to do so. But as a woman who has, increasingly in the past few months, been given “compliments” about my physical appearance my strange men I have to say this struck a cord.
If you actually think that giving a woman a compliment about her body is going to make her feel awesome, you’re a douche. It’s creepy and weird. Full stop. And I will argue that point. Come at me, bro.
What kind of nut bag thinks that its his position and right to stop a complete stranger on the street and comment on what they like about another person’s body. When did this become an acceptable act? And if it’s received with anything less than a smile and “thank you” we’re the cold bitch? Listen very carefully. Shut up. If you see someone and you want to give them an unsolicited compliment (and I mean a solicited comment sounds like someone asking you for your g-d opinion) stop. Just stop. Don’t be a jackass. She doesn’t need your approval or the reminder that her worth lies in the symmetry of her face or the curves on her chest.
This is not ok, and it is not ok for people to feign ignorance about their compliments being received as threatening, uncomfortable or just plain stupid. Let’s use our critical thinking skills, shall we?
Enjoy this website for more on the movement to end this shit.