Thank you for your email. And your five minute phone message. And for berating my colleagues. But for future information, if you have a concern, issue or problem there are a few crucial steps for you to remember.
1. Be concise. Nobody likes a rambler. Say what you mean, make a plan, move on.
2. If you have an issue with someone in particular, it would be best to talk to them directly.
3. If you are unhappy/frustrated/upset, say so. Do not try and distract me with silly concerns. Be an adult and tell me what you need.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret: berating someone and trying to cut them down only makes me (and others who hear your rambling, irrational and idiotic ranting) feel sorry for you and want to throw a bushel of rotting avocados at head.
And as an aside, sending me emails that have no punctuation, spelling errors and no capitalization stops me from taking any concern (no matter how bizarre) seriously.
You look like and idiot, especially when you spell the wrong word over and over. Know that I take pleasure in the idea that you are not only spiteful, but you’re dumb. Really dumb. Like, can’t-write-an-angry-email-without-looking-like-a-douche dumb.
And finally, don’t you ever, ever, EVER think that you can cut me down, ridicule me or embarrass me because I am not doing what you want to do. Your attempts at making me feel inadequate fall short. In fact your irritating voice mail message only further proved to me that I am glad that I don’t have to deal with you.
I can imagine after pulling a stunt like that one you are used to intimidating women. Well, on behalf of all the women you tried to intimidate this week- it didn’t work. You didn’t make us feel like we were doing a bad job. You didn’t make us feel like we didn’t know what we were doing. You just reinforced what we suspected at the beginning of the week: you’re a moron.
So, don’t try and use your big voice, big company or demanding tone to try and make us feel stupid. It doesn’t work, we see right through your pathetic attempt to posture for position.
And on top of that, just because we are in the “not for profit” sector does not mean that we kiss the feet of anyone who wants to throw their useless crap at our feet. We are not that desperate for what you have. We are not that hard up for anything that we need to take your brand of Grade A shit.
Just because people are poor does not mean you get to treat them like they are less than worthy of respect and kindness. You might have been pleasantly surprised that you would have experienced both if you had not been such a horse’s ass.
For the next time, if you have something that you don’t want do not try to act altruistic and donate it. You’re kind of transparent.
Did you get all of that? Spell check is your friend. Say what you mean. Remember your male privilege.
Your friendly social service provider
P.S. Fuck you.