Horror Review: Scream Trilogy, by j

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We past Halloween without acknowledgement!  Shame!

Fear not, at least two of the sisters celebrated the holiday in typical Weyward fashion- by vegging out and watching movies.

It started a couple of weeks beforehand when I was out buying some school supplies…and found myself infront of the DVDs.  I had no reason to be there.  November was looming down on me like a first grader on a cupcake.  But, I found myself leaving the store with a DVD in hand…or three.  Ok, it was one of those combo packs.  So it wasn’t that bad.

I picked up the first three movies of the “Scream” franchise, eagerly awaiting the impending celebration of Halloween.

I remember when Scream was first in theaters- the hype was huge and it was a return to horror, and an introduction to the genre for myself.  I had heard of horror films, but scary films for my age group rarely came out.

I was fourteen when the movie arrived and I wasn’t even able to go and see it in theater.  Apart from that the Internet was in its baby phase, so there was no way I was getting any leaks or plot lines by Googl-ing it.  Back then “google” was infant speak and we had to use these papers with bindings to get information that came from a place where they kept them all in order and you used a “catalogue” to search, rather than the ever mighty “Google”.

So when I saw the triology I felt instant nostalgia.  I remembered being 14 years old, wanting to be scared, and talking about the excitement surrounding the film.

(“Did you hear Drew is in it?” “What?!” “Drew RULES!”)

A and I, along with A’s friend hunkered down at the casa and watched the first two installments of the movie.  I was shocked (shocked!) that A had not seen any of the Scream films.  The only thing that is better than re-watching Scream is re-watching it with a newbie.

I think it’s safe to say that the first Scream film is the best.  The story line is good, it keeps you guessing and Neve only mildly irritates me with her breathy, staccato voice.

Sidenote: After seeing Neve circa 1994, I’m now convinced that Kristen Stewart’s “Bella” character in the Twilight franchise is Sydney Prescott’s freaky little sister.

Yes, Scream was where it was at.  It had everyone on their toes.  They started off with a bang and did not stop surprising and terrifying.  It was awesome sauce.

Pros of Scream 1: Skeet Ulrich, Dewey, Courtney Cox getting punched by Neve, the Fonz, Jamie Kennedy

Cons of Scream 1: You spend most of it yelling “WHY DON’T THEY HAVE CELL PHONES? THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN IF THEY HAD CELL PHONES!”

Scream 2 was a solid attempt at a sequel.  Again, the ending (don’t worry no spoiler alerts…) was unexpected, but left you feeling irritated at the end.  It was as though Wes Craven got tired at the end of writing and slapped the last 20 minutes together on the toilet.

Again, lots of scary crap, surprises and a half decent story line.

Pros of Scream 2: Jerry O’Connell, Sydney being badass, Liev Schreiber

Cons of Scream 2: Killing all the black women, Buffy dies

Scream 3 was a clusterfuck.  I blame Scream 3 for being the reason why I’m not seeing Scream 4.  The plot was far reaching and was not well thought out at all.  The premise for Scream 3 is that a third film for the “Stab” franchise (the fake movie triology) is being made about Sydney Prescott’s experience and people are dying mysteriously on set.  Boo.  I could have written this one.

Again, it uses some of the same sad plot lines (once again Dewey and Gale are at odds, seems their reconciliation after Scream 2 was short lived…life imitating art?). Which is sad, because there could have been some interesting moments.  This film was supposed to tackle questions about Syndey’s mom, the reason for rampage in Scream 1.  But, by the end we are left with more questions than answers.  And the fact that this one is much more cartoon-ish than the first two movies.  A general rule should be that if Jenny McCarthy is in your film all horror credibility will fly out the window.

Pros of Scream 3: You get to see Patrick Dempsey in 2000, Parker Posey (note to Jenny McCarthy: this is how you do funny in horror…less preening more hilarity)

Cons of Scream 3: Sydney’s hallucinations…just effin’ weird, Sydney’s job as a crisis counsellor (seriously?  who gave her that job? she is the last person I want to talk to in a crisis), Courtney Cox’s bangs (they look like a five year old cut them)

All in all,  the triology isn’t horrible.  You still get scared, but if you’re looking for the authentic frightening experience, stick with the original.  In fact, that’s a good life in general rule.

J’s Fright Scale: 7/10

Moral of the Movie: Mothers- Do NOT sleep around.  Your children will pay for your adulterous ways with their blood (good old fashion mother blaming!)

Scream

Scream 2

Scream 3

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About weywardsisters

The Three Weyward Sisters first appeared in Shakespeare’s “Macbeth”. It turns out we have more in common with these “weird” sisters than we thought. In the Shakespeare play the sisters represent darkness, chaos and conflict. We’ll leave it up to you to decide which of us represents each. They also usually show up to mark impending doom. Well, we certainly hope that our presence on this little corner of the Interwebs doesn’t mean impending doom for anyone. However, we find our commonalities with the witches in other ways. To be weyward means to be willful, disobedient and to turn away from what is “right or proper”. Those who know us would whole heartedly agree – we are three weyward sisters. We are three headstrong, stubborn (some more than others), obstinate and willful sisters. Read at your own risk.

2 responses »

  1. WAIT A SECOND WAIT A SECOND! i had to read this TWICE,
    did you just say “Drew RULES!” ????
    As in, Drew Barrymore!>>>????
    WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHTTTTT?! you secretly love her as much as I do! VICTORY!!! i demand you retract your previous drew-hating posts!
    ~m

  2. Settle down. I never said that I said that. That was general consensus of 14 year olds in ’96.
    But I will say this is my favourite Drew movie.
    She gets slaughtered in the first 10 minutes.
    ~j

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