Vigilante Justice or How I (Allegedly) Stopped a Thief Mid-Break In, by j

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Disclaimer: I may or may not be subpoena’d in 6 months time to testify whether the following happened or not.  So this is an alleged tale.

Once upon a time there was a Wonderful Woman who loved to help people.  So much in fact that she ended up working in the not for profit sector helping little children from becoming angry, sad big people.

One day this Wonderful Woman was hard at work on a holiday (when really she should have been at the beach).  After a long hard day of helping little children she was celebrating a particularly happy moment with her colleague.  The Wonderful Woman’s colleague was sitting in her office with her back against the window.  The Wonderful Woman was talking about what she had done and how happy she was.  Then she saw something out the window into the parking lot.

The Wonderful Woman saw a scraggy man/boy standing near her car.  All of a sudden she exclaimed,

“What is that guy doing next to my car?  I’m going to go out and check.”

As the Wonderful Woman left the building she heard her colleague yell,

“HE’S IN YOUR CAR!”

The Wonderful Woman thought, oh no he didn’t.  And bound out of the building ready to save her beloved iPod, which she left in the vehicle.

As she emerged from the building she saw him.  In her car.  She screamed,

“GET OUT OF MY CAR!”

“GET OUT OF MY CAR!”

“GET OUT OF MY CAR!”

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?”

The man/boy turned to the Wonderful Woman.  He looked afraid.  As he should have, the Wonderful Woman was pissed.  The Wonderful Woman saw that her favourite device in the world was in his hand; her iPod.

Now the Wonderful Woman was truly on the fucking war path.

“GIVE THAT TO ME RIGHT NOW!!”

“HAND IT THE FUCK OVER!”

The man/boy looked scared, handed her the iPod and then told a crap load of fucking lies and the Wonderful Woman turned to him and said slowly and calmly,

“I think you should leave this area where you are.”

“Why?”

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PARKING LOT. NOW.”

The man/boy sauntered off, as the Wonderful Woman inspected her vehicle.

The Wonderful Woman’s colleague was on the phone, like a bat out of hell with the police.

Then *poof* 4 police officers were there.

So many questions asked, statements taken, descriptions given.

Then the Wonderful Woman was asked if she wanted to press charges.  The Wonderful Woman wasn’t sure.

“Explain to me what that means,” she asked.

After the explanation the Wonderful Woman said,

“Ok, let’s press charges in the hopes that he gets the help he needs and deserves.”

To which the police officer smiled and chuckled and victim blamed her for leaving the iPod in the car.

60 minutes later…the Wonderful Woman is drunk on prosecco cradling her iPod.

p.s. They caught the fucker…allegedly.

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About weywardsisters

The Three Weyward Sisters first appeared in Shakespeare’s “Macbeth”. It turns out we have more in common with these “weird” sisters than we thought. In the Shakespeare play the sisters represent darkness, chaos and conflict. We’ll leave it up to you to decide which of us represents each. They also usually show up to mark impending doom. Well, we certainly hope that our presence on this little corner of the Interwebs doesn’t mean impending doom for anyone. However, we find our commonalities with the witches in other ways. To be weyward means to be willful, disobedient and to turn away from what is “right or proper”. Those who know us would whole heartedly agree – we are three weyward sisters. We are three headstrong, stubborn (some more than others), obstinate and willful sisters. Read at your own risk.

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