Harry Potter & First World Problems, by j

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La la la la la

Well, it’s over.  The Harry Potter odyssey is done with.  Dragons slayed, goblins pulverized, and horcruxes eliminated.

For the past eight weeks I have been going with a group of friends to watch all the beloved HP films in sequence.  We were taking advantage of the “Harry Potter” passport and we braved the elements. (And when I say “elements” I mean “embarrassment”, tweens and ridiculous fanatics).

Seven weeks were spent getting to know J.K. Rowlings’ lovely little twisted world.  Seriously.  Where did she come up with some of this?

I met a plethora characters and tried to wrap my head around the complexities of the world of wizardry (Hogwarts? Hogmeade?  Who can keep some of this shit straight?).

It was, at times hard believe that one woman created this entire world in her head.  A world that has spawned eight blockbuster movies, toys, a game (Quidditch?  She developed an entire game.), dolls, clothing, and an amusement park (I’m sure I’m missing a ton of stuff).

Did you know that the actor that plays Harry made $25 million in 2010.  In 2010.  That’s not cumulative.  That’s just in 365 days.  And he’s, like 10 years old.

Did we also know that Rowling is (rightly so) richer than the Queen.  Awesome sauce.

And the characters are pretty bad ass, as well.  Hermione?  Literary feminist icon.  Yeah, I said it.

Now, there were some crazy parts.

First, all the killing.  I don’t have a problem with this being children’s literature.  Not at all.  I’m just not a big fan of you killing people and/or creatures to whom I am attached.  I feel as though you are hurting me on purpose.  First you make me love Dobby, then you kill Dobby.  Dobby was not someone/thing that I liked at first.  And then you made him loveable.  And then you killed him.  How DARE you, J.K. Rowling?  How dare you?

(And contrary to popular belief, the deaths of all beloved Harry Potter characters COMBINED do not rival the horrifying moment that Wash was killed in “Serenity”.  Not at all.)

Second, the violence.  You can’t be surprised that I wasn’t a huge fan of the violence.  I was not that interested in all the blood and gore.  No thanks.  Needless to say that I covered my eyes for an equivalent (probably) of at least 90 minutes.

Third, the “Defence Against The Dark Arts” Instructors for the first 6 films/books.  Don’t you think we figured it out by the second or third that the incoming professor was evil?  I totally did.  Puh-leeze.  (Sidenote: Again I know that it is children’s literature.  But still.)

But, all in all the series was crazy…absolutely crazy.

That being said, I had been quite excited about the whole idea of seeing the final film.  I have never read the books (that would be a touch too lame at this point in my life), and I don’t intend to anyway.  But when my Potter obsessed friends put the idea to me, I thought “Why not?”. (Sidenote: I totally forgot that the Monday night movies conflicted with the “The Bachelorette”.  Had I remembered, I might not have gone for it.  Thankfully I did, and this season’s “The Bachelorette” turned out to be a special kind of stupid)

The whole operation of seeing the seven movies were leading up to our group seeing the final and epic movie that is “Harry Potter: The Deathly Hallows Part Two”.  And we did it right, VIP tickets were purchased a few days in advance.  I chose my clothes and shoes correctly (I’ve learned that the AC is usually pumping something fierce).

We arrived at the VIP and got settled in, the squishy seats were amazing, and there was a place to my purse (who else hates holding their purse at the movies?).  And then the movie started.

It was dark, brooding and fantastic.  I was munching and poking my seat mate occasionally, enjoying my HP experience.

And when you think about it…it was pretty major.  What other movies series has eight installments and is not effing lame like “James Bond” (Sidenote: that is a whole other blog post).  I’ll answer you: None.

In short this was an experience that we shelled out the big bucks for just to ensure that this did justice to entire series and journey.  (What do you think I’m overreacting?  Well, I don’t care.  I was looking forward to this).  I mean, part of the reason I spent the last seven weeks going to SilverCity?  We were getting ready for TONIGHT!

Now.  Let me preface what you about read by saying this:  I am well aware that what I experienced tonight was a FWP (First World Problem).  I get it.  There is a horrifying famine and drought happening on the Horn of Africa.  Despite this, I reacted like a First World Ass tonight.  But I don’t care.  Everyone’s entitled.  And the fact that I recognize my insane privilege allows me to be bitchy about this.  Mmmkay?  Alright, continue.

An hour into our epic journey something happened.

The movie stopped.  House lights up.

I believe our reaction was a collective “What the hell?”.

Oh, did I mention that something fanstastic was about to happen?

How do I know?  Well…the picture stopped but the sound did not.

Here’s a recap of what I heard:

Voldemort’s voice:  Let’s begin.

*crazy, amazing, wonderful, scary, fantastical sound effects*

Me: NO! DON’T BEGIN ANYTHING TOM RIDDLE!

20 minutes later a terrified looking VIP staffer shouted that the film would restart.

And then we picked up about 2 minutes before the blackout.

However, my irritation was complete.  During the black out I believe these were things that I said, really loud:

“Well, glad I paid for a VIP ticket”

“This blows”

“You know what would be amazing? If this GD movie started back up again”

“I’m not watching HP8 and I had to see unfortunate side boob” (someone had a wardrobe malfunction…it was unfortunate)

“I better be getting something free out of this”

“I will set this place on fire”

So, long story short, the movie started up again after 20 minutes and I was totally not into it. My excitement had disappeared as quickly as Fred was patronus’d. (Yeah, they killed off Fred.  WTF?).

I was so not into it that when my good friend started shedding tears I almost giggled.

Afterward I got a voucher for a free VIP tickets for a movie.  Whatev.  I kind of wish I had someone to yell at.

Rant over.

Anywhoodles, thanks J.K.  I might not have been a part of the 13 year journey, but I had a kick ass eight weeks.

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About weywardsisters

The Three Weyward Sisters first appeared in Shakespeare’s “Macbeth”. It turns out we have more in common with these “weird” sisters than we thought. In the Shakespeare play the sisters represent darkness, chaos and conflict. We’ll leave it up to you to decide which of us represents each. They also usually show up to mark impending doom. Well, we certainly hope that our presence on this little corner of the Interwebs doesn’t mean impending doom for anyone. However, we find our commonalities with the witches in other ways. To be weyward means to be willful, disobedient and to turn away from what is “right or proper”. Those who know us would whole heartedly agree – we are three weyward sisters. We are three headstrong, stubborn (some more than others), obstinate and willful sisters. Read at your own risk.

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