Dear family and friends,
I feel like this is a good time and place to announce that I am about to start eating meat.
It’s been ten years since I ate anything born with feet.
I thought I’d let you all know, so that you can collectively sigh with relief at the thought of not awkwardly having to figure out what to feed me when I visit you. You’re welcome.
There are a lot of reasons, but mainly I’m just trying to take good care of myself. And while I may not be ready to order steak the way my mother does (still bleeding), I am ready to venture in to the world of non-restrictive eating.
So here I go. I’m going to throw off the bowlines! Sail away from the safe harbour! Catch the trade winds in my sails! Eat things with faces!
Start bidding on who gets to feed me the meat first.