Here we are five days away from the royal wedding and the circus has started. All this talk about the upcoming wedding has got me started thinking about how ridiculous the royal family has become.
Now, I have a lot of thoughts about the royal family. And it can’t possibly be contained in one post. Therefore we’ll need to break it down.
Sidenote: Do I even need to take the time to explain why the royal family and the monarchy (or any monarchy) is effing ridiculous? Yes? Alright, here are my reasons in no particular order.
1. It’s 2011. Are you kidding me with this bullshit? Time to move on. The monarchy was instilled as ruthless dictators. Now that democracy is the word, what value are they adding? Answer: None.
2. They cost too much money. Period. Millions of dollars will be spent for the royal visit this summer. Millions of dollars we don’t have. Millions of dollars coming from my tax dollars. My mind is confused as to why this is not an election issue.
3. Governor General? Really? REALLY?! Governor Generals are a giant waste of resources. They have no power, they have no purpose yet they incur ridiculous costs. And for some bizarre reason I think that an alarming number of Canadians think that they Governor General has power. Case in point: when the new governor general was chosen. Cries of “Thank the good lord that he’s a lawyer!” and “He’d never prorogue parliament! He would know better!” were heard by all. Um, what? Are you under the misconception that the GG has actual power? Because as far as I can tell the GG is just the queen’s bitch and the PM’s slave (however, compensated quite nicely).
4. They wear crowns. COME ON.
5. They serve no actual purpose. I dare someone to give me a legitimate role they serve.
Back to the wedding.
For the past few months the royal wedding has been a mundane irritation. Occasionally they pop up on TV, or in the newspaper. Whatever. I could always ignore it- and I really didn’t notice.
However, things have changed in the past couple of weeks. CBC News Network has decided that every 12 minutes they will give me an update (an update that sounds strangely like the update I heard 720 seconds before), the Globe & Mail devotes a section (a fucking section) to the blessed event and TLC has changed to 24 hour coverage about anything that has the words “royal”, “wedding”, “prince” and “princess” involved.
The first thing that struck me about the royal wedding was the engagement. Or more importantly the engagement ring.
If someone wants to correct me, please do. But, um. Did he give her…his dead mother’s wedding ring?
The wedding ring from her failed marriage? Really?
Let’s ignore the fact that they’re probably blood diamonds and sapphires. Let’s just focus on wedding ring. From the failed marriage. Even if it was the most exquisite thing you ever saw, would it not remind you of the HORRIBLE wedding?
And beyond that, is anyone else raising an eyebrow to the comparisons to the Charles & Di wedding? We all remember how that ended, right?
I’m confused. It seems counter intuitive to the romantical setting that everyone wants to create.
Even if you were TOTALLY into the whole wedding thing wouldn’t the constant reminder of the divorce heard ’round the world damper your excitement?
Sigh. This event makes me angry and tired at the same time.
Secondly, why is no one talking about how much this wedding is going to cost? It’s insanity. According to some earlier reading I was doing they said that the wedding bill was being footed by Prince Charles and good ole granny Liz. Am I missing something? Did Chuck get a job when I wasn’t looking? Because the last time I checked he collects his cheque from the lovely people of the UK. Therefore he gets paid with tax money. Therefore the people of the UK are paying for the wedding. Not daddy. I find it frightening that everyone seems to be ok with this arrangement. GAH.
This is so effed up.